Fire Emblem Fates: Reasons for Joining Hoshido
by EmblemWizard513
Summary: The reasons for joining Nohr are pretty obvious right? Well what about Hoshido? In this fic, inspired by Anonymous Contributer's own take, Corrin joins Hoshido and states his reasons why. Crack fic, T for suggestive themes and language.


**Reasons for Joining Hoshido**

 **Hello! I'm back again to do another Fates fic as I am just completely bored. Plus there's a lack of Fates fics that are actually worth while. So after I read Anonymous Contributer's Path of Logic fic, I thought to myself, 'Someone needs to make a Hoshido version of this.' So I waited a month and when nothing came up, I started making plans for this. So I give credit to the man mentioned above(but seriously update Precocious Love. That fic is probably the best one ever invented.)Though I needed to wait for all the internet jokes to arise after the game came out(in Japan), but it was all worth. Oh, and while planning this out I was watching the season 5 finale of Game of Thrones. Then I decided to add a central joke revolving around it. Basically, if you haven't watched the finale and want no spoilers, then don't read until you watch the finale and say bull #$% to the ending. Oh and I use the localized names, because I already had them glued to my brain pratically.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem. Characters and places, mechanics and etc. belong to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems.**

"Corrin, join us!" Said a man in black armor, riding on top of a horse. Or is that a mule? Can't tell from here.

"No Corrin, join us!" Said a man, garbed in robes that made him look like a samurai. Oh he is? Well that makes more sense.

Then the albino man in the middle, named Corrin if you didn't guess already, sat and thought about this that looked a lot like the Thinker.

'Is he seriously thinking about this? In the middle of a battle where everyone is going to kill him in a matter of two seconds?' Ryoma thought before Corrin stood up. The time has come. He has made a decision.

"I have made a decision!" Everyone, the Nohr siblings and Hoshido siblings started Corrin. The mentioned prince took a deep breath. "I have chosen-wait where's the drum roll?" Takumi then grabbed a snare drum out of no where and started playing. Something that Ryoma didn't know he could do.

"I have chosen..." Corrin then pointed towards Ryoma and his siblings. "...Hoshido!"

"What!?" Shouted both Xander and Ryoma. Xander shouting was obvious, Ryoma shouting? That's when everyone started at him. Ryoma nervously chuckled. "I honestly thought he was going to leave us."

Corrin then smiled. "Well brother you thought wrong." Xander however looked like he was going blow up like the Death Star. "But why?! You don't even know them. They are complete strangers!"

Corrin looked at him. "Yeah, but fath- your father Xander, is a asshole. He abused me. Seriously I still have some marks on my back on the week before I left. Plus he probably wanted me dead, you know that right?" Ryoma started at him in disbelief. Just how did his brother survive?

Xander stuttered in disbelief of what he was hearing. "But... communism is amazing brother is amazing brother. Surely you know this?"

Corrin frowned. "Communism gives barley any freedom to the people. Plus Ryoma isn't called the Lobster Lord for nothing. He made a chain of restaurants called Red Lobster." Xander also frowned. "So?" Corrin then had stars in his eyes, figuratively speaking. "Because it's amazing." Ryoma however was wondering how the people of Nohr have lived for so long.

Xander then grabbed the youngest of the Nohr siblings. " What about Elise? Surely you wouldn't leave your second favorite sibling?" Corrin frowned at that comment. "First of all, Xander you're not my favorite sibling. Second, Elise I'm truly sorry for you that you need to stay with these insane people since your the only sane one in your family, but you must understand why I'm doing this." Elise smiled. "Okay brother." Ryoma just stood there staring, not at the scene but Elise. 'She's cute.'

Xander did not take that last comment from Corrin nicely. " What do you mean she's the only sane one?" Corrin frowned. "Leo over is a total asshole and always claims he's a genius." Xander gave a whatever look at him. "He does not."

"I'M A FREAKIN GENIUS GUYS!"

Everyone then looked at Leo, who looked like a bright tomato, which is appropriate since his favorite food is tomatoes. Xander looked at him frustrated. "Shut up! We're trying to win him over you know."

Corrin didn't change his look. "Also Camilla treats me like a sex toy and don't even say she doesn't because I have a flashback ready right now." Corrin then turned around. "Cue the music!" Then Takumi started playing the harp an- "Wait a minute!" Everyone looked over to Ryoma. "When did Takumi learned to play the harp?" Takumi then spoke up. "I'm actually playing my bow like a harp." Ryoma then gave his brother a 'how in the name of the seven hells does that work out' look. "Guys," shouted Corrin, "I still need a flashback here" Takumi then resumed and the flashback began...

It had begun like any other day, except Corrin was looking for his brothers since they told him they would him with his training. "Guys, where are you?! Guys?" Suddenly Camilla appears out of no where, grabs her little brother, and thrusts his face towards hers breasts, since that's what the stereotypical pervert likes anyhow. "Oh, Corrin I'm so glad to see you. Can you help me with something?" And with the fact she said very seductively came across Corrin that he figured out exactly what that something.

And Corrin being Corrin, he was the type that wouldn't make it to the bed since his poor heart and mind couldn't handle that type of pressure.

And right on cue, his brothers and servants (except for Gunter) showed up. Corrin manged to say a muffled 'Help me you assholes!' to get their attention. And so it did. Leo looked like he was going to faint. "Oh gods Camilla," he cried. "Not again!" And so our two princes pull back Camilla, while Jakob starts dragging our poor prince.

And that is the day Corrin decided to call one of the worst days ever. Not because of the whole incident, but because Jakob got a kiss from both Felicia and Flora. And he wasn't even the one that got hurt.

…...

"Yeah I have to admit," Xander started, "before the whole finding you're our step sibling, that Camilla was going to be like Cersei from Game of Thrones."

Corrin then cringed. "Speaking of which, it then comes to you." Xander then looked at him confused. "What have I done?" Corrin then exploded. "You always spoil Game of Thrones dammit. Sometimes people don't want to be spoiled about some things. When it comes to Game of Thrones, that's not the case."

Xander then gave his response. "But everyone should know things ahead of time. For example-" "Dammit don't!" "- Jon Snow dies in the season five finale of the show."

Every male- since Hinoka and Sakura were watching this like a movie, eating popcorn, Elise was crying that she didn't get to see her brother anymore, and Camilla was torturing poor Lazward, and yes Lazward, the one man who should not be afraid of these things is terrified- was showing a different expression, except for Xander of course. Leo was slamming his head next to the nearest brick wall, Leo was trying not to laugh, and Ryoma just face palmed himself. 'He's never getting his sibling back.'

Corrin however was so mad that people were surprised he did not go Hulk Smash yet. "Dammit Xander! I haven't watched that episode yet! You have now officially lost your brother to some strangers!" Ryoma then felt hurt, but only a little since, well it was true.

Xander however became desperate. "If you join us, then you're promotion will give you the power of tomes! Tomes man, you know, the ones you always wanted Leo to teach you but he was too much of a asshole to actually listen."

Corrin waved that comment off with one of his own. "I don't need tomes. I got staffs." He then pulled out a Heal staff. Ryoma was just confused. 'How are staffs better then tomes?"

Xander then adopted a frown. "It doesn't matter. I shall now kill you as a brother." Ryoma, who tried to stay quiet in this entire... extravaganza, then spoke up. "Who kills their own brother, even if they are your step brother." Xander shot him an irritated look. "No one asked for your comment." Xander then rode.

Corrin looked at his older step brother in the eye. "No one talks to my brother like that." As much as Ryoma would like to find that heartwarming, he was more interested what Corrin was doing with the Heal staff he had.

"YOOOOOUUUUUUU SHAAALL NOT PAASSSS!" Corrin then slammed the staff on the ground, and out came a giant crack in the ground. Xander stopped then looked at Corrin. "I well get you one day. Just you wait."

As Xander and the others rode back to Nohr, Corrin turned to look at his family. "So, what do we do now?" Ryoma however could not answer, as he was looking at the crack in the ground. 'I want to learn how to use staffs now.'

 **There you have it. A new(and probably awful attempt) at a humor story. You know, reviews help me think about what to do next in my fic. So please review. Have a good day.**


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